Happy 1st birthday to Chloe Lee brown. You graced us with your presence a little too soon and you only lived for 30 minutes. You only knew the deepest kind of love that anyone can give to someone and I can live very peacefully knowing that.

 I never ever thought that I would be behind that hospital Door that had the Fallen Leaf on the outside signifying child loss. I never imagined that for the rest of my life I was going to have to dread certain dates. Others get to celebrate different milestones and I get to celebrate anniversary dates and such a deep heartache that no one has ever experienced unless you have lost a child.

I will never ever blame God for this happening. I do not blame anyone. This tragedy has led me to some of the kindest souls that I have ever met. It has led me to different photography opportunities that I never imagined I would be a part of .
 I was challenged to me to write about my experience. I am not going to go into detail what happened. My labor and delivery of Chloe was flawless. It was as perfect and as painful (hah)  as it should be. She just came too soon.

 The most incredible moment and I can't even believe I can possibly use that word
 to describe this experience but after Chloe passed on such a dark dreary snowy day, the clouds parted and the brightest rays of sunshine shone through. It was incredible. I also will never ever forget when Pastor Jamie walked into the room he looked right at me with the biggest smile on his face and said why are you crying Chloe is in heaven! I know it sounds silly but that line is what changed my mentality for ever.

 To my dearest friends and family that came to the hospital that Day, Valentine's Day, you will probably never understand what that meant to Harry and Me.I did not want people around me or visitors that day but all of you came and you were there to show your support and love and I am so forever grateful for that. You were there for us and so many others during the darkest days to follow of my life. Days that I just did not want to continue,  days that I could not stop crying you all lifted Me up and gave me 10000 reason to live.